though its just 10pm, i swear i am gonna tuck in after this! but i'm hungry though. and i feel like having a last stick. okay, maybe after i eat. hahaha.
been lacking sleep for the past two nights. i've been having a lot of morning shifts this week, so waking up at 6am is kind of the cause fr my lack of 10 hrs of slp per night. boohooo. this week feels so...different. maybe cus i've been spending time with my friends- both dunearn and jc. feels good to catch up here and there. finally i feel that i'm slowly picking up the pieces i shouldn't have left. i mean honestly, it feels different to know that there's no particular someone that's entertaining me at the moment, not that i need one. just trying to get the hang of it. no bedtime phone calls, no plans, no sense of commitment, nothing i guess. whther that suck or not, i'm keep convincing myself that i'll be able to manage this independence. i sense change. problem is i have no idea whether it's a good or bad one.
and the first change is- i am starting to be like hardcore bookworm. i dint sleep the whole wednesday night when i had work on thurs morning. and my colleagues thought i was out to parties or bla3- but turned out that i was peacefully on my bed with a book. HAHAAHAHAH. kental or what?! i mean New Moon's really good, addictive. yeah i knw, im gay. can't blame me fr being interested in fantasies, immortal, heroic kinda plots. oh well. and so i just finished the book, and i shall go to the library to look for Jodi Picoult's books. kinda miss them. hahahaha. something good- cus that's the thing that had been luring me to go home early just to read books, that has been acting as my bedtime phone calls. a first, good change.
i guess this is how i deal with it. i just hope there wont be any grudges between everything that's been happening. i was half-expecting your presence there.you looked at me with doubts, should you be happy, should you be angry. i'm sorry to put you in that mess. i really don't wanna lose a friend. oh well, what are the odds. idk. i hope things will get more..friendly? hah.
and work. ALOT of new faces. hell alot. and most of the guys look similar- same eyes, same hairstyles. but i'm sure we can bond. but i'm out to clear my name. damn, there are actually rumours about me: i didnt know that until they teased me. wth? they were saying that i'm having a crush on this newbie in work or smtg like that. SERIOUSLY WTH? and i they actually thought we're liking each other. i mean he doesnt even know who the hell his colleague by the name of illi is. so how possible that we can like each other? -__- actually i'm positive that it'll cease. 3 days or so? hahahahah. but work's always fun. i miss fucking alot of people. glad to see bryan after a week plus. managed to pull him out fr a smoke after work. it's good that smoking makes people socialise. and he decided to work cus he thought i'd be working till closing, turned out not.hahahaha. sorry bro i was doing morning. and hell yeah i am gonna miss Sammie. i mean not that u guys care, but her going away is gonna make me feel more lonely. damn. first Ica to sembawang, now Sammie to Novena. dou i shall work more to get more money. shop. yeah. the more need to shop, the more burden that's needed to go.
oh well.