get it fixed!
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Tuesday, March 24, 2009
HEY HO.
sometimes i feel like killing this blog. 
i mean i don't blog much anymore.
not that im in camp or whatsoever, HAHAHAHA, 
i'm just plain lazy. gonna change it sooner.
for the betterment. does that word actually exist? -_-

working today @ 5.30pm. this week's shift are pretty slack-ish.
i like. but after my portfolio miseries are over, i shall work again.
i mean really work. i need money. i want money.
i want to spend. spend SPEND.
they say, the more shopping bags you carry, the more miserable you are.
maybe that speaks it all. i need something to erase the past miseries i've done to myself and to a few unfortunate souls- shopping! that suck cus i kind of hate this season's.
i want to watch a couple of movies. and yah sorry dude, those are girl-ish movies.
so it means i shall bring a girl out. have some girly time. i miss girl outings. boohooo =(

sometimes i feel like im the worst girl ever.
dude, i dint reply your texts simply because im not interested and i don't want any more complications in my goddamn pathetic life? you just pop into my life when it's already so complicated and you wish i could devote to you.
so don't tell me i made you waste your time. think again.
and to you, yeah you must agree with me. im in your black books now,
and i certainly know i deserve it. go tell your friends and let them curse me cus i know they have been. they will say smtg like.." i told you so." that kinda bullshit. for all i care, they are right.
i don't deserve you and don't you counter me back cus that's a fact. oh god what happened to me.
honestly, i will always bear this pinch of guilt in me and i know you will always bear a pinch of grudge. well, if that makes the world go round, i rest my case. 
i dont think my problem is solved. i dont think we are that strong-hearted. 
something will go wrong somewhere. strong gut feeling.
even though i had to end it with one, even if i'm glad my miseries are over,
i dont think they will perish clean. i just don't feel a good vibe.
yeah so, my sincere apologies. you know it's not easy. 
hate me all you want. just take good care of yourself.
be a good boy. study hard. do it for yourself, dude.

ARGH. time for portfolio.
i want to watch movies.
i want to watch oc season 3.
i want to shop. 
i want money.
after 1st april.


so are you listening?!

hello and i am illiyana.
20, alive & kicking!

somewhere elsewhere.

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